The boys were flicking through some magazines they found lying around the house last night while I was preparing for dinner. Suddenly I hear this:
R2D2: ugggghhhh mummy why does that man have a willy in his mouth?
Me: (frozen with pure fear in relation to what my curious 5 year old may be looking at, I walk towards him in stupified slow motion). Aaaaahhhhhhhh Wheeeere????
R2D2: here, look, a willy inside his mouth.
Hans Solo: oh yes, that looks like a willy (ridiculous giggling).
Me: (blurred vision and legs do not seem to be cooperating lean over). Oh that. That is NOT A WILLY.
Hans Solo: mum why are you shouting?
Me: I am not shouting (realise i had stopped breathing for a few minutes). That picture shows (a man with his mouth wide open) an anatomical feature of the mouth called the tonsils and in fact most people have tonsils.
R2D2: Really? (how does a 5 year old master incredulity?)
Me: Yes in fact yours are very fragile and you often get infections on your tonsils and if you get lots and lots of infections sometimes the doctors have to remove your tonsils.
R2D2: (poking his fingers into his mouth and gagging) I cant see them...
Me: I have TONSILS as well (feeling relieved that i have again averted disaster and opening my mouth wide to provide the requisite evidence).
As I walk away...
R2D2: and.....
Hans Solo: yep.... mummy's one is called a willy-etta
Parental Note: it is absolutely possible to have hairs turn grey within a few moments due to instances of extreme shock.
Parental Note: despite my desperate and repeated attempts to use the anatomical names in reference to human body parts, children seem to have a obsessive fascination with using slang. Acceptance of this inevitable situation is advisable.