Me: Come on it's time to go to bed.
R2D2: I'm coming (doesn't even look at me).
(5 minutes later...)
Me: R2D2 it's time to go to bed.
R2D2: I'm coming (doesn't move a muscle).
(5 minutes later...)
Me: R2D2 it's time to go to bed.
R2D2: I'm coming (shifts his position on the sofa slightly).
(5 minutes later...)
Me: R2D2 it's time to go to bed. Now please.
(5 minutes later...)
Me: R2D2 it's time to go to bed. Right now.
Sprog4: I'm coming. I'm coming. Just calm down and take a deep breath.
Me: (spluttering with rage) I am very calm thank you.
R2D2: (mumbles under his breath)
Me: Please do not mumble under your breath. If you have something to say you are free to do so (I regret these words as soon as they leave my mouth).
R2D2: It's just you're not a very patient person.
Me: (ready to commit an act of violence) I..I...I.. How am I not a patient person?
Sprog4: Look how patient I am. I have to wait for a WHOLE YEAR, EVERY YEAR, until my birthday happens again. And I don't moan about it. That is how to be patient.
Me: (Barely able to breathe...) I can make it look like an accident... really I can....
Parental Note: I appreciate the importance of non-violent communication. Really I do. I appreciate the importance of leading by example. Really I do. However, I am now of the view, that it is in the interests of our children, solely for the purpose of receiving a well rounded education, to experience what it is like for a parent to flip their bloody lid.